Sermon Audio: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ministrybymail

Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another By profaning the covenant of the fathers? ¹¹ Judah has dealt treacherously, And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, For Judah has profaned The LORD’s holy institution which He loves: He has married the daughter of a foreign god. ¹² May the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob The man who does this, being awake and aware, Yet who brings an offering to the LORD of hosts!

¹³ And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. ¹⁴ Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. ¹⁵ But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. ¹⁶ “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

Have you ever considered how your relationship with your spouse affects your relationship with God? Marriage was one of God’s last creations and one of His greatest gifts to humankind. As our text states, it is a holy institution which God loves.

And God didn’t just give it to Adam and Eve. He gives it to each man and woman who leaves their father and mother and becomes one in marriage. God joins them as one through the Holy Spirit, as our text describes. This union—this oneness—is not merely symbolic but something real, something beyond our full understanding, yet something we can marvel at and appreciate.

We praise God for all the earthly blessings that marriage brings—companionship, enjoyment, spiritual support, and children. But beyond that, the marriage union reflects our union with God. As husband and wife are made one, so too, in Christ, God unites Himself to us in a mystic union—dwelling in our hearts through the Gospel.

The mystic union and the marriage union ripple into each other. For example, we learn from Jesus how to better love our spouse. The mystic union strengthens our marriage union when we recognize that Christ loved the Church, washed her clean, and gave Himself for her—and He calls husbands and wives to love one another in the same way.

They can also ripple for bad. When a spouse is apathetic instead of empathetic, unforgiving instead of forgiving, cruel instead of kind, it hinders our relationship with God.

The People of Malachi’s Day Had Ruined Both Their Marriages and Their Union with God

In Malachi’s time, Israel’s broken approach to marriage was bleeding into and destroying their union with God. In grace, God had taken Abraham and his descendants into His arms, saying, “I will be your God, and you will be My people.” He promised to be their Father in heaven, to give them all that they needed—even to die for them to redeem them. In time, God did this for them and for us.

And yet, the people of Malachi’s day despised this promise. Let me ask you: Would you marry someone your father despised? Well, that depends on the father and the circumstances, doesn’t it? But what if that father is your Father in Heaven—who loves you with perfect love, who knows what is best for you, and who would rather die than see you damned?

Yet the Israelites were marrying people God had told them not to marry. Their marriage unions with idol-worshiping heathen were an outright rejection of their spiritual union with God.

Now, in the New Testament, God no longer forbids marrying someone of another faith, but in Israel’s time, He did. The nations around them worshiped idols and practiced abominations so wicked that God had commanded their total destruction. When Israel failed to follow through, God warned them not to marry these people, lest their hearts be led astray from the covenant. Yet Israel ignored the warning, despised God’s promise, and married these heathen women, allowing unholy unions to destroy their holy relationship with God.

But this wasn’t their only sin in marriage. Many Israelite men were divorcing their wives for selfish reasons. God refers to these divorced wives as “the wives of the covenant.” These women were supposed to be their companions in faith—cherishing the promise of God, waiting in hope for the coming Savior. But men were discarding their wives simply because they weren’t as young and beautiful as they once were. God called this act treachery. This violated the sacred union God had created between husband and wife, and it damaged their relationship with God Himself. God says: “What God has joined together, let not man separate."

Do Our Own Sins in Marriage Hinder Our Walk with God?

Notice how the people in our text were weeping and crying at the altar. Why? Because they were sorry for their sins? No. They were crying because God had withheld His blessings from them. The land was not producing produce. They wanted God’s favor even while despising His commands. And God refused to listen. Malachi was to get them ready for God’s coming. They were not ready because of their marriages.

God warns us of the same thing today: “Husbands, dwell with your wife in understanding, giving honor to her… that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

Think about that. If we neglect, dishonor, or mistreat our spouse, God says our prayers may be hindered. Let’s ask ourselves:

• Have we been unkind and unforgiving toward our spouse, yet walked into God’s house as if everything were fine? Have we built up resentment, refusing to let go of past wrongs—even though God has forgiven us a far greater debt?
• Have we fantasized about having a more attractive or successful spouse—while expecting God to be gracious and patient toward us?

The Solution: Prepare Your Marriage for Christ

There is a connection between how we treat our spouse and how we walk with God. With every act of selfishness, unkindness, or neglect in marriage, we weaken both our relationship with our spouse and our relationship with Christ. This is why Peter tells us to lay aside all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, and, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the Word, that we may grow thereby (1 Peter 2:1-2).

This is true, of course, not just in marriage. Malice, deceit, envy, and all other sins toward anyone will hinder our desire for the Word of God, just as a newborn’s hunger for milk can be hindered by sickness or neglect. But it is especially true in marriage. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously” (Malachi 2:16).

So what should we do?

• Confess and Repent—To God, to your spouse, and with one another. Confession and repentance is how we lay aside all malice, deceit, envy, hypocrisy, and all evil speaking.
• Pray Together—A praying couple is a strengthened couple.
• Let Christ’s Love Bleed into Your Marriage—Forgive as Christ forgives. Serve as Christ serves.
• Grow Together in the Word—Growing the mystic union will grow the marriage union. The more we strengthen our faith, the more our marriages are built up. However, just as we cannot make a seed grow, we cannot make the mystic union with Christ grow—but God does it through the Gospel. God planted faith in your heart by the Holy Spirit and the Gospel. The more of God’s Word in your life, the more your faith and your marriage can grow.

Does This All Seem Impossible? With God, nothing is impossible- Neither forgiveness nor being ready for Good Friday and Easter. In fact, forgiveness and readiness are not just possible—they are already yours in Christ. They are yours because God did die to save us from our sins and make us beautiful in His sight.

Being ready for Good Friday and Easter is not dependent on having a perfect marriage—because none of us have that. Some are not married at all, and all of us are sinners. Instead, we are ready because of what Jesus has already done.

He has created a perfect relationship with us—washing us with His own blood, cleansing and sanctifying us from every sin, and making us a holy and beautiful Church—without spot or wrinkle, clothed in His righteousness.

You are ready for Good Friday. You are ready for Easter. Your marriage is ready for renewal, for edification, for love, for patience, and for forgiveness that your prayers and relationship with God might not be hindered. Why? Because what we will see Jesus do on Good Friday and Easter makes you so. He makes you the forgiven, the saved. Amen.

—Pastor Aaron Ude

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church
Rapid City, SD

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All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.